Secluded in a corner office of a small business building in a tidy but inconsequential part of Kalamazoo, MI is a picture of Daren Wendell. There he is in a wooded “you’re gonna need a helicopter to come get you if you hurt yourself” mountain scene: wild man beard, steely determined eyes glaring ahead, and orange backpack the size of an electric car shouldered on. Written around the picture is an article about him that appeared in Men’s Health during his walk across the United States. Sitting in front him now – well groomed goatee, neutral toned fitted business casual clothes, staplers, computer screens, pie charts, and the rest neatly stowed around – you could think the man who had burned his life to the ground and set out to walk the world has finally been tamed.
A room next to him stuffed neatly with files, photos of children and horses – lots of horses – is his partner’s in ActiveWater: Amie Hadaway. It is a picture of the ideal modern woman with conquering foot planted firmly in two worlds: family and work. It gives the office an even more domesticated feel.
Underneath the scene of office orderliness, however, something wild pulses. Something threatening. If you are quiet when you are in there, you can palpably feel it trying to scratch its way out of the frames of pictures of Africans and Cambodians smiling on the wall and escape out of the door and into the world. And you can tell, if you are quiet, that the inhabitants of the office feel it too despite their steady voices and professional sheen. You can tell that there is an air of desperation to it.
All of it.
Sometimes great journeys end in a place you wouldn’t fathom. When Daren Wendell started his quest to walk the world he assumed that he was leaving a corporate world behind. In his walk journal he wrote that he would rather be walking than “slowly dying behind a computer screen day after day”. I pondered this as I waited for Daren to finish one of the phone calls he received on his iphone during the interview. Of course, he said that before the nervous breakdowns from loneliness, lack of control, and physical exhaustion. If it weren’t for those, I would have been interviewing Daren in some remote part of the world with yaks or something wandering around in the background. After the phone call I mentioned that he could still be walking today and he simply said “Yep”.
“What’s harder, Daren, walking or this?”
Looking around, the office all of the sudden seemed like an ill fitting shoe on him. Yes, there were mouse pads, printers, business cards, and the like strewn around. But the office was a little too spacious on second look. Massive windows surrounded his desk with foliage pressed up against them. It gave the illusion in certain spots that you were actually in the woods and not an office. A bookshelf in the corner contained a neat collection of books on businesses and how-to’s for non-profits. Wedged nonchalantly in between were much more worn books on biking and hiking.
On his computer monitor was the most interesting clue of all. Taped to its wide screen was a clumsily large Polaroid style picture. All of the others in the room were neatly framed, but this one, a little beat up around the edges, was taped cockeyed and protruding, almost imposing itself like an uninvited guest into the neat business style of the room.
On that photograph was a smiling picture of his new wife, Danielle.
“I had a lot of advice for Daren about how to operate ActiveWater and be married.”
Amie Hadaway looked back at me from her desk. Pictures of her children hovered on the wall above her left shoulder.
Hadaway ‘s office too has the same feel of business orderliness that blurs upon closer inspection. Family mementos and ActiveWater paraphernalia are mixed together throughout in a way that gives the feeling that they weren’t delicately arranged as much as two things collided violently and the current arrangement is simply where they ended up after the collision.
In 2007, a spiritual calling did violently collide with Amie, who was then a housewife. After hearing a sermon on Africa at her church and coincidentally seeing the movie Blood Diamond she came across these verses from Isaiah 58:6., 10-12
Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
If you extend your soul to the hungry,
And satisfy the afflicted soul,
Then your light shall dawn in the darkness,
And your darkness shall be as the noonday.
The Lord will guide you continually,
And satisfy your soul in drought,
And strengthen your bones;
You shall be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.
Those from among you shall build the old waste places;
You shall raise up the foundation of many generations;
And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach,
The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In.
“After I read that, I had to do something.”
The message of Christ had suddenly transformed from words on a page into a force that took a hold of her. Suddenly, she could not be the same. When I asked her, “Why then? Why Africa?”, she couldn’t answer me other than to say that perhaps a lot of time spent seeking God culminated at one place and time.
So she called charities and non-profits. She asked if she could do things. Not being given any significant direction, she made her own and went to local churches raising money for the water crisis. She and her husband raised $18,000. That got some attention. In conversation with Blood Water Mission she found out that they had a new athletic campaigner, Daren Wendell, trying to do a silly thing: walk the world. He needed a campaigner and media coordinator. Amie said yes and the seeds of ActiveWater were planted.
Over the next months Amie worked tirelessly for Daren’s campaign. Being a mother and part of a family business, she struck a deal in her mind that she could work at this as long as it didn’t affect her duties. So, after she put the kids to bed, she would scour the internet writing letters to supporters or media releases until the wee hours of the morning. She organized interviews, magazine articles, and news. She put together a MySpace campaign that won the non-profit site award twice in a row, bringing a significant chunk of money into the campaign. She even talked on the phone with Daren when he was lonely to spur him on, or, as the both say with laughs, to occasionally write out a prescription from Dr. Suckitup to medicate his attitude when it flagged.
It was naive, however, for her to think that it would not affect her family, she admitted at the end. At first her passion was novel to them. But then it started to cause strain. With a bad economy in Michigan, her “tireless” efforts could have certainly helped her family business which was not sheltered from a recessed country’s ups and downs. Her passion for alleviating the water crisis drew comparisons to the passion she had for other elements of her life. Family time became a somewhat scheduled activity. Balancing these passions did not come without a learning process. This illustrates the unsung heroes of ActiveWater: family members who sacrificed money, comfort, time, and intimacy in order for the directors to have the necessary fierceness in their care about the water crisis. Without that fierceness, without the near inability to “put it down” when inconvenient, ActiveWater would just be another job.
Understandably, Amie had concerns for Daren who was, in a sense, enviably single when he decided to marry. Her words, when summed up, came out to this:
There is a cost.
Your family members share in its payment whether you want that or not.
I asked Daren what ActiveWater had cost him.
This was funny to me. This is a guy who sold everything – even his socks – to go for a walk where he was constantly poor, hairy, and stinky. He had no home. He used to eat leftovers from other peoples tables when they left eating establishments. When I met him, he lived in a small room with friends on virtually nothing so that he could work at ActiveWater full time. He plans stops at casinos in the area when he drives long distances because they give out free coffee. Never, never have I heard him mention anything that caused me to suspect that he cared one wit about pride.
Yet, the look on his face was serious. “I want to take care of her but I can’t,” he said while looking over at the photo of Danielle. There was a time in Daren’s life, working as a pastor, in which he would forget to deposit paychecks because he was making so much. The life of a non-profit director has not been so financially stable. Daren described the difficulties ActiveWater has been facing now that it is past its birth and entering into its childhood. ActiveWater grew very quickly through the combination of hard work and good fortune (or blessing, if you will). It garnered an award for best new non-profit on the scene that year. However, the water crisis is a problem that takes dedicated resources over a period of time to solve. It needs volumes of people to have lightning bolt moments like what happened to Amie that causes them to not only give once, but to make solving it a part of their lives for an extended period of time. It’s the difference between giving someone a cup of water and teaching them to build a well.
That kind of sacrifice is hard to come by, especially with the number of worthy causes available. In the hopes of finding an answer to that problem, ActiveWater has become an organization that walks a tight rope between staying grass roots and embracing the very Frankenstein’s monster of American business principles the church has co-opted into its faith that Daren’ walked away from in the first place. Incorporating those principles may give them the most bang (and a bigger bang at that) for their buck but embracing it risks an image that becomes faceless, plastic, not relatable, and, ultimately, easy to discard. Ignoring those principles may mean living month to month for as long as ActiveWater can hold on.
Daren doesn’t see a danger in losing the grass roots soul of ActiveWater. He has many memorable experiences of attempting to contact non-profits to offer his services only to be rebuffed, ignored, or forgotten. This strikes a nerve with me as well because I have had the same experience. ActiveWater has always promised that anyone, anywhere can use their talents and abilities to help others. Its special characteristic is its willingness to partner with people on their own level and its dedication to swift communication.
“If someone contacts ActiveWater, they either talk to me, Amie, or will receive immediate contact back.”
As if to prove that point, Daren took a call on his iphone. I wondered, however, as his words over the phone seemed distant and far off, if that could continue with the same purity now that ActiveWater has entered the realm of boards of directors and organizational forecasts.
There IS something desperate that palpates in the offices of ActiveWater. There is a wildness that lurks within the neat arrangement of banners, pictures, and desks. Daren and Amie’s interviews were undergirded with an unspoken knowledge that they are aware of that desperate, wild thing. This unseen force was inside a man who woke up, sold everything he owned, and walked into the wild. It was there in woman that caused her to forgo sleep in order to write out just one more publicity release. And it still exists in them. It is the impetus for them uneasily taking on the challenge of rules, organization, and corporate think as a tool.
That thing lurking is a reality that someone, somewhere, is in need and that they, in order to be what they desperately want to be, need to help them. It is a truth so base that it exposes the falseness of the things we describe as our reality. It is knowing that if they fail, if ActiveWater ceases to exist, real people are affected.
Daren just unveiled the next in his growing list of extreme endurance challenges to raise money and awareness of the water crisis. He’s walked the U.S. He’s starte and expedition to walk the world (which is halfway through Australia). He’s done countless marathons, ironmans, and the like. He has contiguously swam Lake Michigan. Now he plans to run across the United States in 45 days starting on January 1st, 2014. That is back to back marathons every day.
I asked him, “Daren, are you afraid that you are going to have to attempt to do more and more physically impossible challenges until, one day, you die during and attempt?”
He simply nodded yes.
But that won’t stop him because that’s what it takes right now to beat back that wild thing. That is what it costs.
Daren and Amie’s office share something in common that I noticed while interviewing them. Of all of the awards, medals, pictures, and banners they could choose, sitting directly across at eye level from their desks are similar pictures. Daren has a picture of Zambian men surrounding a newly made well splashing each other with the water. Amie has a picture of a solitary young Cambodian girl using a well pump. In the photo she is looking out directly at Amie’s chair with large brown eyes.
I asked them both this question. “What’s the first thing you think when you see that picture?”
They both responded nearly identically without hesitation and with passion.
“They have clean water.”
Man is a combination of 4 components that make him “him”: heart, soul, mind, and strength. Anything that explains truth meaningfully reaches all 4 of those things in us. Confusion about truth usually occurs when those individual components believe strongly in things that appear to be in opposition.
In that light, it makes sense that Christians, and people in general, struggle with the why’s of sexuality and marriage. It seems arbitrary and maybe petty that God would care that the bodies that house souls (which are essentially genderless) participate only in sex within a certain committed context defined by him (which we call marriage) with the opposite gender. Isn’t commitment and love generated and showed through it the important part anyway? What does gender have to do with it? When it comes to sex, why wouldn’t God want people to participate in something that is as good as it with everyone possible? Why limit it to one person? Furthermore, why limit it to opposite genders? These questions create and the sexuality involved create conflict in our 4 components. Admitting that God’s reasoning seems mysterious isn’t unfaithful – it’s actually biblical. That is what Paul is saying in Ephesians. Paul tells us that people – smart, spiritual people – had only clues but no concrete idea why God created gender, marriage, and restricted sex within the confines of marriage. They found the reasoning of God mysterious. Paul tells us there that that mystery only made sense with the revelation of Jesus as Christ.
Through Jesus we learn that the reason God created gender, sex, and marriage was to give us a beacon that spoke to all of the 4 components of ourselves about the purpose to why the universe and man was created in the first place. Marriage, the combination of man and woman (woman coming out of man so she is the same but also different) represents the eternal purpose that God has to forever expand his son and give him a bride (a bride which came out of his side so she is the same but is also different). Creating two genders illustrate different things (that are the same in a certain way) becoming one. Jesus and us – different things that are the same, are to become one. Sex was created to give us 4 component insight to the wonderful communion we will have with Jesus for eternity. That love reproduces. We are not created to forever be servants or forever be giving God the rock star treatment – we were created to become his son and be one with him which elevates us to family. He is including us in his oneness which requires equality. That is an incredible statement. It shows God’s amazing humility and grace.
So, gender isn’t arbitrary. Sex confined to marriage and gender isn’t arbitrary. God creating a thing which we call marriage in making a special commitment between a man and a woman forever is different than when people of the same gender do it. The very reason these things were created in the first place was to tell that story. Scripture teaches that. If they are altered it nullifies their purpose and at worst actively obscures God’s actual purposes. It doesn’t matter if those altered things have merits, participating in them at best only gets us to settle on the momentary good and not on the eternal best.
If we accept what Scripture is teaching above, then this story reaches far more than homosexuality or whether gay commitment is marriage. Participating in that wonderful story that tells the purposes of God must have us confront the reasons why God hates divorce and yet we let ourselves off the hook about being too concerned for it or promiscuity in the church or how we treat our spouses or why we far too often let women be dominated. I pray that seeing the why’s of sexuality and marriage will help us confront things in opposition to God’s grand purpose that we have previous allowed ourselves by just saying “Well, those are just the rules.”
Love to all,
In my many years as a Christian I’ve realized that we Christians do a great job at giving people rules but an incredibly poor job at explaining why. It’s as if the rules are an end to themselves.* However, the rules, as explained in the New Testament, were only introduced as guide rails to help us discover the magnificent story we are all a part of that spans the entire scope of eternity. We must understand the deeper story. If we do not do so, as Paul says, the Law which was introduced to show us life instead becomes an instrument of death.
Herein lies the problem with the current raging debate on legalization of gay marriage. Christians often say that gay marriage is “wrong” but they have absolutely no idea why. Their answer is that the Bible says it’s wrong so it is. There is some validity to that stance but continuing in that path inadvertently teaches the world that the Bible is just a set of rules written by a purposefully ambiguous God who dropped them on earth and said, “Follow these rules or else I’ll burn you!” That God doesn’t seem very good to me. He seems like a sadistic egomaniac by his own definitions.
I’ve written this blog in hopes of presenting the beautiful story of sex and marriage as presented through Scripture and the life of Jesus. I’ve written this simply to explain at least some of the “why”. I pray it is loving, regardless of your worldview. It is not exhaustive. I’ve made no attempt to answer questions about legislating Christian ethics. That’s a different story for a different time. I have also made virtually no attempt to be succinct – I believe an expensive answer is necessary for an expensive question. In the age of Facebook sniping with people competing to get the best “gotcha” retorts I have tried to create something that approaches a kind conversation that is respectful to those around.
Love to all!
There was a time before the beginning. We call it eternity. It’s hard to wrap your brain around. I think the closest I ever felt to it was the first few weeks after my wedding.
I was 29 and, before Kara, I had a mountain of angst and frustration surrounding finding “the one” that had battered me for over a decade. My past relationships left me feeling like I was unfixably broken. And, then there was Kara.
I often explain finding Kara like this. It was like God was leading me up a jungle filled mountain at a tremendous incline. We hacked away at the foliage. My legs ached from the ascent. I kept asking God questions. Why was it so hard? Are we really going anywhere in the first place? Many times I just left him and walked my own path. And then, after following him for what seemed like forever, we took one step and were suddenly out of the foliage. There in front of me was the most beautiful vista I had ever seen. I thought to myself “OH-H-H-H! Now I see! This is why I had such a difficult path. He was leading me to this beautiful spot!” That spot was Kara.
Almost immediately after starting to date Kara I knew she was the girl I was going to marry. I don’t think it works that way for everyone, but, based on my circumstances, it did for me. Before I loved her I knew we should marry. I had some idea because I was very in tune with God at that point in my life and I kept getting glimpses of things that I was to do in my horizon that seemed impossible for me to do alone. Then I would say to God, “How am I supposed to do that alone?” After starting to date Kara I thought “Now I understand! Good plan God!”
So, Kara and I were married on February 5th, 2005. I had waited a long time for that day. After the ceremony, we flew down to Florida. In Florida I had something I didn’t expect.
It was incredible, palpable peace.
Here was a peace in the rightness of the situation. There was a peace in me that I wasn’t this broken thing that no one could love. The addition of her added a wholeness to me. We could sit in each other’s presence, say nothing, and I felt it was the best thing I had ever done. Each moment was so full of love and peace that time seemed to slow down and stop. It didn’t seem to matter what was coming next.
It’s the closest thing I’ve ever felt to eternity.
Having experienced that, I believe it’s in some small way like what was going on in eternity before the beginning. Scripture tells us that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit were living in perfect love and community with each other before time. I suspect that the roundness I felt during that time for each second from peace and love was/is amplified infinitely for them.
Here’s the thing about love, though. Love, especially in community, expands. It grows. It creates. People often wonder why we are here in the first place. If God was living in a perfect infinity with Jesus and the Holy Spirit, why would he need anything else? The answer, according to experience and wrapped up in the story told through scripture is that he didn’t. Love just expands. It creates. If you are participating in it, it does that.
It’s interesting. Before I got married I had my mind set on only two children. I have no idea why I set that number other than that I was one of two kids. After marrying Kara I threw that number out the window. I realized I wanted as many kids as I could get because I found that I love Kara so much I wanted more of her in the world. Having children expands the amount of Kara on this earth because there is always a part of her in them. This is good for the earth, let me tell you! That isn’t to say that I’m not satisfied with the amount of Kara I have, it’s just that more Kara is wonderful!
I can imagine that God felt this way with Jesus. Having loved Him for so long, he wanted more Jesus. And Jesus, in return, wanted to expand God’s goodness. He says as much over and over again in his ministry. He says, in paraphrase, “Hey, when you see me, you see God. When you accept what I say you accept God.” That means more God.
Have you ever thought about why there is gender in the first place? Seriously, if you are God and create in any way you would like to, why two genders? Why not just one? Or why not 27? I’m in the camp (and so is Scripture) that God made everything purposefully to testify to the great story mankind was created to participate in so I think it was purposeful. Seriously, wouldn’t one gender have been a LOT easier? Imagine if we could just reproduce based on thought or by eating a watermelon. Seems easier in a sense. But, God did not do it that way.
First, he created all things that were made through Jesus and for him (John 1, 1 Corinthians 8, Romans 11, and Colossians 1). Then he made man. What made man different is that he gave him his own breath as life (Genesis 2). This is important! God is expanding himself (or Christ) by breathing into something that didn’t have life. When man expands with children, it is essentially expanding God (and Jesus) because he is tied to them.
By the way, he started by making only one gender! It was just man at the beginning. There was even some time where man and God interacted before woman came along.
Then, something fascinating happens. Adam is naming all of the animals but then realizes “Huh, none of these are like me!” He seems to be actually a bit bummed by the whole deal which is crazy to think about because he is living in sinless relationship with God at this point.
So, this is where it gets really good, because God makes a pronouncement that reveals the great story of eternity. He says “It is not good for man to be alone.” He then makes Eve. Now, he doesn’t start with fresh dirt to form Eve. He pulls her from Adam which illustrates something incredible. Eve is from Adam so she is Adam but she is not the same as Adam. As the Bible would speak, she was already inside Adam (because God pulled the raw materials from him) otherwise she would not be able to exist. Adam exclaims poetically “This is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone!” meaning “She’s like me but isn’t me!” They become one and the term we use to describe that in modern vernacular is marriage. It is quite an epic tale.
This gives us incredible insight to the eternity before time. Why did God go through all the drama of leading the animals past Adam? Why did Adam have the longing for something that was “the flesh of his flesh”? Was it just for kicks or was God letting Adam discover aspects of the story that goes through all things? Fortunately, we are not kept in the dark. This marriage stuff could be mysterious! I mean, Paul says that the thing we call marriage was a mystery through the ages and no one really knew fully what God was trying to do through it until His purposes were revealed in Christ (Ephesians 5).
Through Christ we learn that the creation of woman and the decision to become one between a man and a woman illustrated what was the intent of creation in the first place: to create a bride for Christ that was out of himself that made a mutual decision to be one for all of eternity. ** (A short list of parallels are illustrated below). Think about it: the bible starts with a wedding and ends in Revelations with a wedding. He endlessly talks about marriage. And that’s the crazy big deal. We are not just created to be servants or peons – God is making us into him and, in a sense, equal to him in a very real way by combining us with his son. That’s just crazy.
Understanding this helps us understand other things! It gives us new insight into why a God who could heap up a pile of dirt and breathe in it any time he wanted to create another human would instead choose to say to man “be fruitful and multiply”. God chose to let us in on reproduction through sex between a man and a woman (and he tells us his way is that two people make a commitment forever to each other before they participate in that sex). The love and oneness of that person creates, with God’s help, another person. God is showing us that love expands. He is showing us his desire to expand his son through his son. The child is a result of a very exciting act amongst its parents of both taking charge and surrendering that feels amazing. These things were created to give us a real world shadow of the eternal truth to come. They give us a way to participate in the story and feel its goodness (and also see how it can go wrong). But, again, they are a shadow of what’s to come.
So, we’ve now finally gotten to sex and marriage. First of all, loving someone is always always ok! Can two men or two women love each other deeply and still participate in the purposes of time and space with God? Certainly! Scripture is filled with people of the same sex who have tremendous love for each other! Ruth and Naomi. Jonathon and David. Not only did these people love each other, they had specific and special commitment to each other. The issue is not love or commitment. The issue is sex and what the specific commitment of marriage is. As both of them were created to illustrate a story, participating in sex and marriage outside of furthering that story misses the fuller, richer meanings that they are meant to display to us.
So, the commitment that we describe as marriage is meant to display that joining together in forever commitment of two things that are not each other but are each other. Differing genders illustrate Christ and man becoming one through commitment. The differing genders is essential because the same gender could never illustrate the thing it was created to illustrate in fullness. Marriage was created to tell this story. What if Christ just did the things described but with another Christ created out of thin air rather than man? What if man simply decided to not be Godly and just committed to itself and called it the same things? Certainly they could do these things, but they are not the same thing. Marriage is not an arbitrary definition meant to keep people out of it as punishment. It is simply a description of a thing that illustrates what God is doing with humanity and Jesus. If it didn’t illustrate those things than it there wouldn’t be a point for it.
For example, I could create a painting and call it “Fred”. You could create a painting in the style of Fred, following Fred’s instructions, meant to show how good Fred is to the world and call it “Fredding”. Someone else could come and paint in a different style ignoring the instructions of Fred (who has said that method is as important to understand the original Fred as the finished product itself) and want to call it Fredding. It could be called Fredding, but it wouldn’t be about Fred. Furthermore, it would make it curious why someone would want to call the new style painting Fredding in the first place to those who were already Fredding. The people who do the original Fredding may keep quiet when it happens but it would surely fuzzify the rich, deep meaning of the original Fred that they are hoping their Fredding illustrates.
God has things to say about sex. This is not just about same gender sex. He desires sex to tell the story he wants told by us using it in a controlled way. Sex was created to illustrate a metaphysical story. If sex isn’t used to understand that metaphysical story then it misses the point of why sex was created in the first place.
There are many feelings that feel “natural” to humans. I myself have many sexual desires that I have to sift through. My goal in this is not to go ahead with them because they feel natural or earthly, I want to use sex in an eternal way so as to participate in this amazing story we’re in and understand him better! Scripture teaches all over the place that sin has corrupted our impulses and if we are not careful we will discard our heavenly freedom and become a slave to whatever we feel at the moment. So, through the use of sex, we can either expand the eternal in our life or shrink to the temporal. In fact, the purposes of marriage and sex and a whole lot of other things are to give us clues to the eternal that is hidden by the proliferation of sin. God was wise and made his invisible qualities visible through creation (Romans 1).
There are a couple things to be found in contemplating this. By targeting one person alone for sex through commitment, we are honoring that person specially. We are giving up current pleasure now for better pleasure later. We are not polluting our mind with other lovers. Seeing this gives us beautiful insight to how Jesus feels, waiting at the end of it all in his bridegrooms clothes, for his bride to arrive. He gave out of himself to create his bride, he pursued her, he showered her with gifts, and he even died for her. He is intensely in love with her! Imagine if you were watching your future bride (or groom) meander their way to you in no particular hurry giving themselves up to anyone who provides a cheap thrill along the way. It would tear you apart. How would you feel, still loving them despite that, if they simply chose death instead of you?
The other thing found in this is that new life is created through consummation. This is a massively important illustration! It shows us that love grows! It expands! It creates new wonderful things! Although it can have some meaning (and positive meaning at that) sex through the same gender cannot participate in this deeper eternal story of sex in the same capacity. Souls do not have gender although we are placed in bodies that do. Just as we are all placed in different bodies that have different strengths and weaknesses, God has done this purposefully so that we use that form in whatever way to participate and enlighten ourselves with that eternal story. I am close to multiple people that only exist because one of their parents chose to marry despite attraction to the same sex. I know they are glad that their parent made that decision and I know many other who have been influenced through those people and are very glad they exist. Now those people are in themselves a beautiful story of the eternal Christ being expanded because of the depthless love of God.
In the end, God has not placed us here to marry. He has not placed us here for sex or for any temporal pleasure. These are just shadows of the real thing. I often hear things like “Why wouldn’t God want me to be with the person if I like or am attracted to them so much?” It’s not about God not wanting you to feel some good things. In fact, it’s the opposite. He wants the absolute best! Good is sometimes the enemy of the best. And, he has unbelievable love and peace in fullness through eternity in purpose for you! Some things you do only capture a small part of the good. He wants you to have the fullness. He doesn’t want you messing yourself up settling for a few moments of positive when you could have an eternity of it.
God created marriage and sex to tell a story that is metaphysical. It is to help us feel and understand things that transcend time in a way that doesn’t destroy free will. Losing any part of that story or expanding it into something that it isn’t obscures God, which is bad for everyone.
I hope and pray this is a positive thing for all reading it. I hope it gives you some things to chew on. Much of it is very lofty and it takes mediation to grasp even a part of it! I pray that you do so. Love to all,
*I know people think that outside of Christ. As one of our friends said when we started a bible study “Oh! This is a bunch of stories. I thought it was just thousands of pages of rules!”
** There are a ton of parallels. I’ve included just a few here if you want to poke through it. A great resource for a fuller explanation is From Eternity to Here by Frank Viola. That book changed my life!
Just a few parallels …
- The Bible starts with the creation of a woman and a marriage in the first two chapters and ends with the wedding of Christ and his church, who was created from Him..
- God pulls Eve out of Adam’s side. The church is pulled out of Christ. A spear was stuck in Jesus’ side after he was dead showing the blood and water which now cleanses us and makes faith possible.
- She is Adam but she is not him. We as Christians are Christ (we are his body and are covered by Him essentially making us look like him to God) but are not him.
- Eve essentially existed inside of Adam before she was pulled out. Ephesians 1 says we were chosen in Him before the creation of the world. This means the church existed in Jesus before it was pulled out
- Jesus first miracle was producing wine for a wedding in Cana. He tells his mother that is not yet “his time” to do that. Choosing to do a first miracle at a wedding and his wording reveal his eternal purpose
- Jesus often used weddings in parables and refers quite often to bridegrooms and their expectations
- Jesus is the embodiment of essentially the reverse of our existence. We were flesh first and God breathed life into us. He was life first that placed himself into flesh.
* I was talking with a friend today and we were discussing how certain things come around that are so good they ruin the average things in life. All you can think about while doing those average things is being in what was more excellent. Zoo Ministries at it’s peak and the Commune was one on of those things. Below is some thoughts I wrote several weeks ago trying to articulate my love for the Commune.
The Commune Closes
As I packed up at the Commune I came across a tin box. The dented little thing, octagon shaped and old, was painted white with subdued red flowers covering its surface. It was as a whole rather unspectacular.
I’m not sure how that tin ended up in the Commune in the first place but I do know that it filled me with pleasant memories as I picked it up. This same tin sat at the end of our table during Saturday Night Dinners filled up with coins by us, the edges of tattered dollars bills occasionally spilling over the side, as a planned surprise for Daren to give him a little extra cash to do fun things while he lived on virtually nothing to get Active:Water going. As the light in the house dully reflected off of the tin, my reverie continued and I was reminded me that Daren had one time given me all his tips for a week after I had shared at a Dinner that I didn’t think Kara and I could financially sustain ourselves in Kalamazoo.
Nearly everything I picked up as I packed– coffee mugs or books or other odds and ends both great and small – had memories imprinted on them. Adrienne had provided funky word magnets for the fridge for us to leave funny messages. Merches had built a table leg to buttress the middle of the dinner table because we had so many people and so much food on the table at one time that it was sagging in the extensions. Even some of my socks had been given to me by Comfort for Christmas. As I packed, these verses came to mind from 2nd Timothy:
In a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.
I learned many things living at our self proclaimed “Hippie Commune” – too many to list here – but the strongest lesson spotlighted by living in close proximity to faithful friends is in revelation that I didn’t really believe that the houses I had lived in before were actually God’s. “I” was the center of my home life and I let it be its own wooden vessel that I filled with other less noble vessels. It was a pocket in my life where I made it ok for me to not be noble. I believed my house was mine to do what I chose in it then counter-actively rationalized that God was ok with what I did as long as it wasn’t sinful. Home became a place where I didn’t have to be at my best. I could be lazy. I could be selfish. I didn’t have to reach spiritually because I was “resting”. It was easy to justify because no one saw what I was doing alone.
By claiming that I was living in this house for Christ I became very uncomfortably exposed. It is not wrong to rest. It is not wrong to pause. It is not wrong to have hobbies. It is not wrong to have those things in a home. However, simply claiming that I was doing something for Jesus, as I was doing by living in the Hippie Commune, forced me to face that I didn’t use that quiet time to seek God but to instead binge on my desires. Those “vessels of dishonor” started to become glaringly obvious because I knew my roommates could see them. They were exposed. I could not withdraw into my own little worlds without a nagging voice accompanying that world. I could not fill my life with lust and pornography easily. This is not just because other people were constantly around but because I could feel my roommates presence around me and I could feel the weight of my vow to use this space for Jesus. A crazy thing happened: I started to lose my taste for my wooden articles.
This is the surprising thing to me about living with a bunch of people who want to do so for Christ’s sake. Simply being with each other pushes the dishonorable things in you to the surface and at the same time presents vistas of the noble parts of others. These things create a pressure in your life. You will react one of two ways. You will seek to rid yourself of the pressure either by leaving, withdrawing, constantly blaming other people to make yourself a victim, hiding under falsely righteous anger, or relentlessly rationalizing it. (None of these work for long ) Or it will change you. Love – the mere presence of it – changes things all on its own. It is not all about willful effort. As scripture says, “Overcome evil with good” and “Perfect love drives out fear” (1 John) Paul doesn’t mention in Romans that evil has to always willfully decide to change itself. John doesn’t say that fear one day just decides to leave. Just placing yourself in the presence of consistent love will push evil out of your life or you will flee love’s presence with your wooden articles bundled up hastily in your arms. They cannot coexist for long.
Looking back, I found too much of myself loving “darkness” (as John says in 1 John). I was often willing to chase after it at the expense of love. This self discovery has been painful. I don’t think it’s been painful for me alone either. However, as painful as it has been, I realize that this was one of the best aspects of the Hippie Commune. It offered varying degrees of family, support, spiritual guidance, and other Christian blessings but it always, always exposed who we truly were. It cut through phony spirituality, fake personas, and rationalizations to not be noble.
In many ways, the Commune cut me to pieces. It relentlessly shone a spotlight on my wooden articles and the sheer proportion of them was staggering. However, scattered in there were also noble articles of our time that are beautiful and worth holding on to. The dented octagon tin is a small representation. In fact, there are an overwhelming number of noble things – far, far more than in any place I lived alone. So many, in fact, that I’m having a hard time getting rid of anything because so many of the represent truth manifested through love!
The house is now empty. The lights are out. The rooms are cool and footsteps echo through its foreclosed hallways. Someone will come in to rip down walls, fill it with shiny new appliances, and try to resuscitate the corpse of the American dream we desperately fought to kill in faith of a better heavenly home talked about by Jesus. A house with many rooms that Jesus has prepared for us all to live in together again with him. A perfect and forever community with the Trinity. Endless nobility. But, the Commune is not over. We, indeed, continue to be a “spiritual house” as Peter says, and that house knows no earthly boundaries. The Commune’s foreclosure has simply been the impetus to move to other places and build others into the house we are. The walls of our physical homes may change but our spiritual home remains unchanged because it is each other. And I am certainly nobler because my nobility is not my actions or perfection – it is them.
So, to my roommates both from the house and those who supported it so many ways – to my Commune – I love you. Thank you. We go on. Let’s us fill our world with good news and share the shelter of our walls with this world. Love in Christ - Todd.
This last weekend I was blessed to be asked to speak at a youth rally held in my hometown of Davenport, IA called Engage. A few dozen people showed up from all over Iowa and parts of Illinois to take part. Coming back to my home congregation I had a fascinating realization: it was 20 years after the time I myself had planned and taken part of youth rallies in exactly the same spot. It’s not often you come to the exact same place you once were. Doing so gives you clarity in seeing how your life is going because you can measure yourself against your former self. By taking part in Engage I had a moment to assess my path in faith over the last 20 years and the path of the church as a whole in Iowa over that same time.
So I, somewhat reluctantly, took a trip down memory lane to the brain of 17 year old Todd Tipton. I say reluctantly because I wasn’t so sure I’d be proud of what I’ve become! I pulled out old, faded photographs of memories I had of the Davenport church and the church as a body in Iowa as well. A random flood of thoughts and feelings came over me.
17 year old Todd wasn’t too sure where he was going or what he was doing. I had faith, yes, but no vision of what I was trying to accomplish. Well, maybe there was a vision, but it was simplistic. I believed I was meant to go to college, get a good paying job I liked, get married, pop out a few kids, and come to church while doing so. Maybe invite a few people along. That’s what seemed fulfilling to me. I was pretty sure that that was the case because the adults around me were so confident and had an air of purpose and accomplishment. As a church body in Iowa, I felt I had friends who I was close to. They helped me in my individualistic pursuit of being faithful to God. The kept me strong so I said no to drugs, drinking, sex, and other sinful mischief so I would not be disqualified from the prize of heaven.
I’ve learned something in 20 years that I would’ve been shocked to find out then: adults mostly have no idea of what will make them happy or content either! Even in the church. One consistent theme that has emerged from other adults I’ve talked to now that I am one is that, for the most part, that I have no idea what they are doing in life. This is not just unsuccessful (in the world’s eyes) people. I see eyes laden with discontent in the wealthiest people. In marriages where the people are good to each other. Even in people who’ve dedicated their life to charitable work. A sneaky discontent – hidden behind the surface – lurking there even in the trophy room of attained goals.
I realized after 20 years that I’ve learned that Christianity isn’t just a moral compass – it’s a new way to do life. Entirely. Its end goal is not about our purity or limiting sin. It is by essence a new divine life lived in harmony with the Trinity through Christ. When I think about the church 20 years ago – many positives came from it. However, the focus was not necessarily to bring us into a new divine life participated in by community in Jesus – it was focused to define sin and try to mentally and physically prepare you to stop it as an individual. God’s desire is not simply to make us sin free. He could have created us in heaven that way. His desire is to make us who choose it by free will, as a group, a building where he lives (1 Cor. 3) and a bride of his son (Revelations 21).
That purpose can be participated in now by letting him break through into earth by participating in assembly where his Spirit reigns (the church). So, after 20 years, I’ve realized the focus needs to be shifted from preaching people to come to church so they won’t fall away and be sinful, but, instead, to be a part of a church who willingly gives up things for each other so that they can participate in Jesus and make him manifest in this world. Life isn’t the compilation of a spiritual resume of what you’ve achieved – it is measured in Christ being manifested through what is sacrificed. This body that is being knit together (Ephs. 4) is the entire focus of life. It is richer than any individual can give from his wealth. It’s deeper than any marriage. It is the embodiment of charity.
At Engage I ran into a demographic that was a mishmash ranging from junior high students to adults. That was very positive. However, there was a glaring hole: older high school students and college students were barely present. These are the ages, in particular, where people expand to see if they believe what they are taught. It’s not entirely surprising or bad. However, it shows me that a) those people do not see themselves as an essential cog of the body they should have been being built into, b) that they see their faith as individualistic, and c) that they are not entirely grasping the deeper purposes of life as defined by Christ. If these things were so, we would have a group of people hungry not just to serve, but to be around each other- their peers – in the realization that being knit together with people of their same age in Christ might be the most important thing they can do. Even considering that some people may be furthering Christ in a different way at home, I’m sure there are a lot who did not participate because a lack of connection to a greater purpose. For some, viewing their life in sin and realizing they are not accomplishing personal purity, they may feel too guilty to come or like they don’t have anything to offer. This is a negative consequence of substituting the deeper purpose of life for individualistic purity before God as a purpose.
In light of this, I issue a challenge to myself and to the church across Iowa (and really not I, but the message of Christ). One, let’s stop lifting up personal, individualist purity as the goal of life. Two, let us place a community who sacrifices for each other and lives to manifest Jesus and commune with him in its place. Let that purpose seep into both in our home congregation and, in oneness, in the community of Christ across Iowa and ultimately across the face of the earth. Three, let us take the consequences for those actions as they cut out or limit good things to make room for best things. Four, if you are a young adult or teenager late in their high school years – invest in the events around you that create space for you to be in the same place as each other. Doing so will repurpose you in an eternal rather than temporal way.
To do these things we need to seek Christ powerfully in community with each other. MWBC is one such thing. Some of it happens in your congregations. Other than that, I see remarkably few things exist to tap into that purpose. We need to create space for those. We need to do that in our homes, in the homes of other people around us, and in created space for such things as a body across the US. We need to stop being ashamed of our greater purpose and talk about it – in real ways in the real world – to each other. Maybe we need to stop asking “How’s your spiritual life?” so much and instead ask “How’s our spiritual life?” We need to not be ashamed to live a counter cultural life that sometimes puts us in poverty in the eyes of the world or sacrifices things that the world thinks is awesome because Christ, really, truly, is better. We need to stop putting the emphasis on worship leaders and such to make us feel spiritual and, instead, create space to love each other daily which leads to spiritual outpouring from an overflow. Above all, let’s stop faking it. Let’s stop acting like we’ve got everything together when we don’t. Let us, instead, daily seek to manifest Christ with each other, authentically being led as a group by the holy spirit as a church that is bringing Christ by its mere existence into the world around it.
I sincerely hope I’m back in another 20 years and I see the results of these things have come to pass.
Much love in Christ,
1 week of camp. 51 weeks of waiting.
At least, that’s how it felt for me as a camper. MWBC 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year sounds pretty much like what I’ve been trying to get my life to ever since! MWBC (and Senior week in particular) not only connected me to Christ in way that was different than anywhere else, it connected me to some of the best people I’ll ever know – people I seriously love to this day. I always hated speeches at the end of camp talking about “going back to the real world” because, to me, what happened that week felt more real than anything I felt the other 51 weeks of my life. I dreamed for this experience I had to invade my life, swallowing up more and more weeks with its reality. The rest of this letter is dedicated to you who are reading this who feel the same way.
Humor me with a few assumptions. One, God has a plan for the world that he cares for intensely. Two, God places people exactly where he chooses to further that plan. Three, he makes each person with His purpose in mind – you aren’t an accident. Four, that purpose isn’t centered on a physical job you are to do or an income class you are to earn yourself into.
You need to ask yourself why God placed you in Iowa. You need to ask yourself why the community at MWBC produces the spiritual results in you and others around you that it does. I’ve learned something in the years after camp. Those connections I made through that experience and the spiritual fruit they bore in my life were much more important to the purpose of my life (and my contentment) than any day of work, anything I bought, any class I took, and any hang out I had with my friends. Now that I look at it, I wish I had explored it more – took more time to grow that community. That community and the way it lived Christ when it got together was more important than most of the spiritual things I’ve set out to achieve in my life.
Now let’s make a fifth assumption. Let’s assume that God’s purpose involves bringing all of those people out of being their own selves and into one thing – Christ. Let’s assume that that people expressing Christ as a community is the most important thing we could ever do and is, in a lot of ways, exactly what we will be doing in the afterlife.
MWBC is only one week because we allow it to only be one week. We allow only one week to be consumed with putting everything we have in learning Christ in a community and giving our all. Assuming the things above, what are we waiting for to make this thing something that is a bigger part of our lives? How important would that be to our lives and the lives of people around us if we did that? Could taking this oneness we feel during that week and expanding it to more of our life and across our states be one of the most important things we do –not just during high school – but in life in general?
Engage is coming up next week. You who feel the same way should come. Find someone to cover your work. Miss a game. Come from college to help out. Do whatever you can to get there. Why? Because this one week you have that is so special can expand and be bigger but it’s going to take sacrifice – especially from you older ones. There is always something else important you can do. Sacrifice inspires. The one week can expand in your life and the lives of others around you if you take ownership where it is allowed. That’s the ultimate plan of Engage. There is a strong desire to make this community you experience grow into this time in your life – to bond you together and create space in those weeks outside of camp. This is a point where you can own whether you will peak at camp and slowly decline until you get back or you can grow and bring something new the next time.
If it wasn’t for a girl who was willing to be nice to a nerdy guy in a four square line at MWBC, my life wouldn’t be the same! People I connected with at MWBC came with me to Australia, paid for me to go there, moved to Michigan to be a ministry force, and have taught me about his amazingness through their lives from one end of the earth to the next through my entire life. I hope even better things for you. I hope you choose this good and communities of you rock the foundations of society around Iowa and the world.
I plan during free time to have a group time where we talk, take your ideas, and formulate a plan (and a team) to make this a greater reality. Send me a message on FB or to email@example.com if you want that. Much love to you all!
An attitude of thankfulness is not simply the polite thing to do, it is necessary for mental and spiritual health. Thankfulness brings a variety of wonderful things in your life! Thankfulness fills your life with a focus on the positive. Thankfulness frees you from being a victim to the negative things and negative people in your life. It puts you in control of your welfare instead of circumstance. Thankfulness puts the focus positively on others, not you. It chooses to see the good in them and to be impacted by it more significantly than the bad. It combats the poison of pride. Thankfulness helps you see the eternal in the temporal. It is realignment to the truth that our end, if it is in Christ, is becoming one with the being that fills everything in every way. Thankfulness helps us understand that everything up until that point is just progress.
We live in a world that is anxious. Anxiety is the most common mental illness in america. The funny thing? I think anxiety makes sense. Anxiety is a flash of true, deeper understanding of the way of the world. It is touching it. It is feeling it. And it is realizing that this world is going to come to an end, so are we, and there is little we can do to control it.
Thankfulness combats that. Thankfulness is a sudden flash of true, deeper understanding of the unbelievable will God has to bring us into his goodness. It is touching it. It is feeling it. It is realizing that God’s life is bigger than the world’s death. It is realizing that with him in control our destiny is beauty and glory.
Scripture is filled with eloquent exhortation to give thanks. The giving of thanks, often seen as an onerous command, is actually exhorted because of the beautiful things it gives us. Paul instructs Timothy in 1 Tim. 2:1 to give thanks for all people. Why? So that “we may live peaceful and quite lives in all goodness and holiness. This is good …” (vs. 2). Paul tells the Thessalonians to give thanks “in all circumstances” for this is “God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”. In Philippians, Paul cites thankfulness as part of the cure for anxiety. In fact, Paul mentions being thankful in nearly all of his letters to churches, perhaps most powerful explaining its life giving attributes in Colossians by connecting its use with the message of Christ dwelling richly in us, the peace of Christ ruling our hearts, and unity of peace amongst the body of believers.
Thankfulness is ultimately empowering. It is a balm for the soul and gives freedom to its users. In our own society it palpably brings vigor to our country and a desire for the good. Let’s pause and reall take time to properly give thanks during this year’s Thanksgiving. It will do wonderful freeing things for our souls. As Charles Hodge said, “Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be dumb aliens here.”
Much love in Christ and thanks for all of you,